Not long after the telephone was invented, I assume, a call was placed. The caller was a parent saying, “Your child is bullying my child, and I want it stopped!” the bully’s parent replied, “You must have the wrong number. My child is a little angel.”
A trillion phone calls later, the conversation is the same. When children are teased or tyrannized, the parental impulse is to grab the phone and rant. But these days, as studies in the U.S.show bullying on the rise and parental supervision on the decline, researchers who study bullying say that calling moms and dads is more futile than ever. Such calls often lead to playground recriminations and don’t really teach our kids any lessons about how to navigate the world and resolve conflicts.
When you call parents, you want them to “extract the cruelty” from their bullying children, says Laura Kavesh, a child psychologist in Evanston, Illinois. “But many parents are blown away by the idea of their child being cruel. They won’t believe it.” In a recent police-department survey in Oak Harbor, Washington, 89% of local high school students said they had engaged in bullying behavior. Yet only 18% of parents thought their children would act as bullies.
In a new U.S.PTA survey, 5% of parents support contacting other parents to deal with bullying. But many educators warn that those conversations can be misinterpreted, causing tempers to flare. Instead, they say, parents should get objective outsiders, like principals, to mediate.
Meanwhile, if you get a call from a parent who is angry about your child’s bullying, listen without getting defensive. That’s what Laura McHugh of Castro Valley, California, did when a caller told her that her then 13-year-old son had spit in another boy’s food. Her son had confessed, but the victim’s mom “wanted to make sure my son hadn’t given her son a nasty disease,” says McHugh, who apologized and promised to get her son tested for AIDS and other diseases. She knew the chance of contracting any disease this way was remote, but her promise calmed the mother and showed McHugh’s son that his bad behaviour was being taken seriously. McHugh, founder of Parents Coach Kids, a group that teaches parenting skills, sent the mom the test results. All were negative.
Remember: once you make a call, you might not like what you hear. If you have an itchy dialing finger, resist temptation. Put it in your pocket.
1.The word “bullying” probably means _____.
[A] frightening and hurting [B] teasing [C] behaving like a tyrant [D] laughing at
2. Calling to a bully’s parent _____.
[A] has long existed but changed its content [B] is often done with careful thinking
[C] often leads to blaming and misunderstanding [D] is used to warn the child not to do it again
3. According to the surveys in the U. S., _____.
[A] bullying among adults is also rising [B] parents are not supervising their children well
[C] parents seldom believe bullies [D] most parents resort to calling to deal with bullying
4. When bullying occurs, parents should _____.
[A] help the bulling child get rid of cruelty [B] resort to the mediator
[C] avoid getting too protective [D] resist the temptation of calling
5.Laura McHugh promised to get the bullied boy tested for diseases because _____.
[A] her son confessed to being wrong [B] she was afraid to annoy the boy’s parent
[C] he was likely to be affected by these diseases [D] she wanted to teach her own son a lesson
【參考答案:1.A 2.C 3.B 4.B 5.D】
【核心詞匯與超綱詞匯】
(1)bully(n.)仗勢(shì)欺人者，橫行霸道者;(v.)恐嚇，傷害，脅迫
(2)tease(v./n.)取笑，戲弄，揶揄;招惹，逗弄(動(dòng)物);(n.)愛戲弄人的人，取笑者
(3)tyrannize(v.)對(duì)……施行暴政;專橫地對(duì)待;tyranny(n.)暴虐，專橫，苛政;暴君統(tǒng)治;tyrant(n.)暴君
(4)impulse(n.)沖動(dòng)，一時(shí)的念頭;推動(dòng)力，刺激
(5)rant(n./v.)怒吼，咆哮，大聲抱怨
(6)navigate(v.)導(dǎo)航，確定位置和方向;航行，航海，橫渡;找到正確方法(對(duì)付困難復(fù)雜的情況)
(7)blow away意思是To affect intensely; overwhelm(強(qiáng)烈影響，征服)，如：That concert blew me away(音樂會(huì)震撼了我)。
(8)itchy(a.)使人發(fā)癢的;itch(n./v.)發(fā)癢，渴望
【全文翻譯】
我認(rèn)為，電話發(fā)明后不久，就有人就打這樣的電話。打電話的是一位家長(zhǎng)，他(她)說：“你的孩子在欺負(fù)我的孩子，我希望這樣的事情不要再發(fā)生!”而這位仗勢(shì)欺人的孩子的家長(zhǎng)卻回答到：“你一定撥錯(cuò)號(hào)碼了，我的孩子是個(gè)小天使。”
在以后的歲月中，這樣的電話不計(jì)其數(shù)，但電話內(nèi)容卻沒有改變。當(dāng)孩子遭到取笑或被專橫地對(duì)待時(shí)，沖動(dòng)的父母抓起電話，大聲抱怨。但是最近，當(dāng)美國(guó)的研究表明以強(qiáng)凌弱現(xiàn)象在增多而父母的管教在減少時(shí)，以強(qiáng)凌弱現(xiàn)象的研究者們說給父母打電話毫無用處。這樣的電話常常只導(dǎo)致責(zé)備，并不能真正教育孩子如何在世界上生存和解決沖突。
伊利諾斯州伊文斯頓市區(qū)的兒童心理學(xué)家勞拉•卡維許說，“當(dāng)你打電話給仗勢(shì)欺人的孩子的父母時(shí)，是想讓對(duì)方改掉他們孩子的殘忍行為。但是許多父母對(duì)自己孩子有這樣的殘忍行為感到非常震驚，他們不愿意不相信”。最近警察部門在華盛頓橡木港口進(jìn)行的調(diào)查顯示，當(dāng)?shù)?9%的高中生承認(rèn)有過仗勢(shì)欺人的行為。但只有18%的家長(zhǎng)認(rèn)為他們的孩子會(huì)成為仗勢(shì)欺人者。
在美國(guó)家長(zhǎng)——教師聯(lián)合會(huì)新的調(diào)查中，5%的家長(zhǎng)支持和其他家長(zhǎng)聯(lián)系來解決以強(qiáng)凌弱問題。但是很多專家警告說這樣的對(duì)話可能會(huì)被誤解，使對(duì)方勃然大怒。相反，他們認(rèn)為父母應(yīng)該找較客觀的旁觀者如學(xué)校校長(zhǎng)等來進(jìn)行調(diào)解。
同時(shí)，如果接到了一位對(duì)你的孩子仗勢(shì)欺人的行為感到憤怒的家長(zhǎng)的電話，你應(yīng)該傾聽，不要把自己保護(hù)起來。當(dāng)加里福尼亞卡斯楚谷市的勞拉•麥休接到電話，被告知她13歲的兒子朝另外一個(gè)孩子的食物中吐吐沫時(shí)，她就這樣做了。她兒子已經(jīng)承認(rèn)了。麥休說，“但受害者的母親想確保我兒子沒有傳染給她兒子什么嚴(yán)重的疾病”。她道歉并并許諾讓這個(gè)男孩做艾滋和其他嚴(yán)重疾病的測(cè)試。她知道通過那種方式傳染疾病的幾率非常小，但她的許諾使對(duì)方母親平靜了下來，并且也讓自己的兒子知道父母是非常嚴(yán)肅地對(duì)待他的惡劣行為。麥休是教授父母技能的“父母教導(dǎo)孩子”組織的創(chuàng)始人。她將測(cè)試結(jié)果送給那位母親，所有項(xiàng)目都顯示陰性。
記�。阂坏┐螂娫挘憧赡軙�(huì)聽到不想聽的話。如果你手指發(fā)癢，忍住。把手放在口袋里。