搞笑生活英語(yǔ)笑話

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(一)

　　Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys?

　　Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.

　　Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.

　　Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”

　　體育老師：孩子們，你們見過(guò)男女混合雙打嗎?

　　尼克：見過(guò)，老師，經(jīng)常見。就在昨天夜里我還見過(guò)呢!

　　老師：那你給大家講講當(dāng)時(shí)的情形吧。

　　尼克：啊，對(duì)不起，老師。我爸爸常說(shuō):“家丑不可外揚(yáng)。”

 

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(二)

　　He is really somebody

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個(gè)大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。

　　-- 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人。

 

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(三)

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

　　它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的`

　　一位中國(guó)老婦人在美國(guó)看望女兒回來(lái)不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺(tái)，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。

　　這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說(shuō)：“相信我，先生，也請(qǐng)你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國(guó)直接帶來(lái)的。”

 

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(四)

　　my little dog can't read

　　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

　　Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

　　我的狗不識(shí)字

　　布朗夫人：哦，

　　親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!

　　史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊!

　　布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。”

 

　　英語(yǔ)笑話(五)

　　The doctor lives downstairs

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　醫(yī)生住在樓下

　　“醫(yī)生”她沖進(jìn)屋后大聲說(shuō)道。

　　“我想讓你坦率地說(shuō)我到底得了什么病。”

　　他從頭到腳打量打量她，然后大聲說(shuō)：“太太，我有三件事要對(duì)你說(shuō)。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會(huì)改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫(yī)生住在樓下。”

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