英語笑話帶翻譯 爆笑
天氣怎么樣
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西蘭的氣候老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣?馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。老師：錯了。馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運來的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。
A Problem in Arithmetic
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store.
"Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.
"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比爾是一個好學(xué)生，也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學(xué)數(shù)學(xué)，課本上所有的數(shù)學(xué)問題他都能不費勁地解答。
有一天，在上學(xué)路上，比爾經(jīng)過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著：“蘋果--五美分六個。”比爾腦筋一轉(zhuǎn)，進了店門。 “蘋果怎么賣?” “五美分六個。” “但我不想要六個。” “你想要幾個?” “這不是我想要幾個的問題。這是個數(shù)學(xué)問題。” “數(shù)學(xué)問題?你說這話是什么意思?”
“你看，如果六個蘋果五美分，那么五個蘋果四美分，四個蘋果三美分，三個蘋果二美分，二個蘋果一美分，一個蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個蘋果，如果一個蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒必要給你錢了。”
比爾揀了一個好蘋果，開始吃了起來，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個售貨員吃驚地望著這個小男孩，一句話也說不出來。
問問你自己的.吧
Ask Your OwnIt was a cold，raw day at Washington.Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor.The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius.Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply.They sallied forth. “What time is it，Bub?They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met. “Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply.
這是華盛頓的一個陰冷天。錢普·克拉克正和一個來訪的英國人討論城市的流浪兒，英國人詳細地敘述著倫敦式天才的機智�？死诵Q，要是對方向華盛頓街上任何一個兒童提任何問題，那孩子都會對答如流。他們便出發(fā)了。 “什么時候了，小兄弟?人們說你能用鼻子報時。” 回答是：“先生，問問你自己的吧，的不在走呢。”
他正在拍照
Two sisters were looking at a book of religious pictures and came across a painting of the Virgin and the baby Jesus.
姐妹倆在看一本宗教畫冊時，剛好看到一幅圣母瑪利亞和圣嬰耶穌的圖畫。
"See there," said the older sister, "that's Jesus, and that's his mother."
姐姐說：“瞧，這是耶穌，這是他的媽媽。”
"Where's his dad?" the younger girl wanted to know.
“他的爸爸在哪里?”妹妹想知道。
Her sister thought for a moment and explained, "Oh, he's taking the picture."
姐姐想了一會兒，解釋道：“噢，他正在拍照。”
An Exact Number
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur bones lying about.
"How old are these bones?" the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
"Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
"How can you be so sure?" inquired the tourist.
"Well," replied the guide, " a geologist came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
一位游客在新墨西哥游覽。他對隨處可見的恐龍化石甚感驚奇。
“這些化石有多長的歷史?”游客問一個上了年紀的當(dāng)?shù)孛绹恕Ｋ亲飨驅(qū)У摹?/p>
“整整十億零三年了。” “你怎么這么肯定?”游客問道。 “哦，”向?qū)Щ卮鸬溃?ldquo;一個地質(zhì)學(xué)家來過這兒，他告訴我說這些化石有十億年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。”
智力缺陷
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
“醫(yī)生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問，“對于一個看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再沒有比這容易的了，”醫(yī)生回答，“問他一個簡單的問題，簡單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要問什么樣的問題呢?”“嗯，你可以這樣問，‘庫克船長環(huán)球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢?’”鮑勃想了一會兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎?坦率地說，我對歷史了解的不是很多。”
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