最搞幽默英語(yǔ)笑話
每天一個(gè)英語(yǔ)笑話，我們精神更抖擻。下面由YJBYS小編為您整理的英語(yǔ)笑話。
The Use of a Handsaw
At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.
Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.
Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.
The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.
在集市上，我和妻子買了一些五金用品，包括一個(gè)手鋸。我們返回汽車時(shí)剛好路過(guò)一家牛排店。 “我們嘗嘗吧，”我妻子建議說(shuō)。盡管我覺(jué)得拿著鋸有點(diǎn)傻乎乎的，但還是隨她走了進(jìn)去。 我妻子掃視了一下菜單對(duì)女招待說(shuō)：“請(qǐng)給我來(lái)一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉(zhuǎn)向我，看了看我的鋸，說(shuō)道：“我能看出，先生，你是來(lái)吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”
你爸爸幫你了嗎?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right.
The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised.
He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim."
一天，蒂姆的`數(shù)學(xué)老師看了他的作業(yè)，發(fā)現(xiàn)他全做對(duì)了。
老師很高興，同時(shí)也十分驚訝。
他把蒂姆叫到桌前說(shuō)："蒂姆，你這次的作業(yè)全都做對(duì)了，怎么回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做。"
怎么把口香糖取出來(lái)呢
How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I'm meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?
怎么把口香糖取出來(lái)呢當(dāng)空中小姐給乘客們發(fā)口香糖的時(shí)候，她解釋說(shuō)口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機(jī)著陸后，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說(shuō)道：“ 我馬上就要見(jiàn)到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來(lái)呢?”
A Blind Beggar
There was a blind beggar wearing sunglasses and asking for money. A drunk man walked by, thinking the beggar was pitiful, threw him a hundred dollars.After walking a few steps, the drunkard turned around to see the blind man holding the money up to the sunlight to check if it was genuine. The drunk man, feeling cheated, ran back and snatched the money back, “You’re gonna die! How dare you cheat me…”The blind man, not wanting to feel like a cheater, retorted, “Hey man, I’m sorry, I’m just here to replace my friend who really is blind. He went to the bathroom, and should be right back… Actually… I’m mute.”“Oh, oh, in that case...” whereupon the drunk threw the money back and stumbled away.
在路邊一個(gè)盲人乞丐戴著墨鏡在街上行乞。一個(gè)醉漢走過(guò)來(lái)，覺(jué)得他可憐，就扔了一百元給他。走了一段路，醉漢一回頭，恰好看見(jiàn)那個(gè)盲人正對(duì)著太陽(yáng)分辨那張百元大抄的真假。醉漢過(guò)來(lái)一把奪回錢道：“你不想活了，竟敢騙老子!” 盲人乞丐一臉委屈說(shuō)：“大哥，真對(duì)不起啊，我是替一個(gè)朋友在這看一下，他是個(gè)瞎子，去上廁所了，其實(shí)我是個(gè)啞巴。”“哦，是這樣子啊!”于是醉漢扔下錢， 又搖搖晃晃地走了……
老師哭了
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺愛(ài)，寵愛(ài)) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂發(fā)脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?""Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點(diǎn)，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開(kāi)祖母的懷抱。約翰放學(xué)了，他奶奶在門口接他并問(wèn)道：“學(xué)校怎么樣?你過(guò)的好嗎?哭了沒(méi)有?”“哭?”約翰問(wèn)，“不，我沒(méi)哭，可老師哭了。”
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