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學生英語笑話大全笑破你肚子的笑話
英語笑話不僅能讓您心情愉快，并且在娛樂的過程中還可以學到更多的英語知識。下面YJBYS小編為您整理英語笑話。
Heart Transplant 心臟移植
A man has a heart attack and is brought to thehospital ER.
有一名男子患有心贓病，被送往醫(yī)院急診室。
The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away.
醫(yī)生告訴他，除非他立刻接受心臟移植，否則他就活不成。
Another doctor runs into the room and says,
另外一名，醫(yī)生跑進急診室說：
"you are in luck,two hearts just became avaible ,so you will get to choose which one youwant.One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker."
“你真幸運，剛好有兩個心臟可移植，所以你要選擇你要哪一個心臟。一個是屬于律師，另一個是屬于社會工作者。”
The man quickly responds,"the attorney's ."
這名男子很快響應說：“律師的。”
The doctor says,"Wait!Don't you want to know a little about them before you make yourdecision?"
醫(yī)生說：“等等!你不想在你做決定之前了解一下他們嗎?”
The man says,"I already know enough.We all know that social workers are bleeding hearts andthe attorney's probably never used his .So I will take attorney's!"
這名男子說：“我已經(jīng)知道夠了。大家都知道社會工作者都是流血的(有同情心的)心臟，而律師的心臟可能從來都不曾用過他的。所以我選擇律師的心臟。"
The Funeral 葬禮
A funeral service is being held for a woman who hasjust passed away .
有一場剛過世的女子的葬禮正在舉行。
At the end of the pall bearers are carrying the casket out
到了儀式的尾聲，正當抬棺材的人要將棺材抬出之際。
when they accidentlly bump into a wall,jurring the casket.
他們一不小心撞到了一面墻壁，搖動了棺材。
They hear faint moan.
他們聽到了一個微弱無力的呻吟聲。
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
他們將棺材 打開，發(fā)現(xiàn)到這個女子實際上還活著。
She lives for ten more years,and then dies.
她又活了十多年，然后就死了.
A ceremony is again held at the same place,
在同樣的地點再次舉行葬禮，
and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.
而在葬禮的尾聲， 抬棺材的人又再次要將棺材抬出去。
As they are walking,
正當他們在走路的時候，
the husband cries out,"Watch out for that damn wall!"
老公大聲叫說：“小心 注意那面該死的墻壁。”
爆笑類笑話：鑰匙還是接吻 Keys Or Kiss 帶翻譯
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States.
After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys."
The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
【中文翻譯】
我的一位朋友在給一個成人學生班級上英語課。他們都是新近來美國生活的。
在一張桌子上擺了許多日常用品之后，他請全班同學給他挑出尺子，書本，鋼筆等。課進行得井然有序，學生們對自己所做的似乎很感興趣，也很認真。后來輪到一名來自意大利的學生，我的朋友說：“給我鑰匙。”
那人看起來非常吃驚，也有點手足無措。看到這種情況，我的朋友想是他沒有聽清楚，于是又重復了一遍：“給我鑰匙。”那位意大利學生聳了聳肩。接著，他伸出胳膊摟住老師的脖子在雙頰上親了兩下。
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