簡(jiǎn)單有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：有些小伙伴說，我英語(yǔ)基礎(chǔ)不好阿，英語(yǔ)笑話我都聽不懂，沒關(guān)系，小編今天就為大家整理了一些簡(jiǎn)單易懂的英語(yǔ)笑話，愿你一笑!
1、'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)
一位車上的列車員剛發(fā)出信號(hào)讓火車啟動(dòng)，這時(shí)他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺(tái)上一節(jié)打開的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂里另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
“快點(diǎn)，小姐!”他喊道：“請(qǐng)把門關(guān)上。”
“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
“請(qǐng)把門關(guān)上好了，”列車員說：“其余的事由我負(fù)責(zé)。”
2、leeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
安眠藥
鮑勃晚上失眠。他去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生給他開了一些強(qiáng)力安眠藥。
星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。他到了辦公室，遛達(dá)進(jìn)去，對(duì)老板說：“我今天早上起床一點(diǎn)麻煩都沒有。”
“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪兒去了?”
3、 Smugglar
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
走私犯
一個(gè)形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時(shí)，驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)了六個(gè)接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。
“里面裝的是什么?”他問道。
“土。”司機(jī)回答。
“把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”
那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實(shí)，口袋里除了土以外，別無(wú)他特。哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過了。
一周后，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。
“這次袋子里裝的`是什么?”他問道。
“土，又運(yùn)了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信，對(duì)那些袋子又進(jìn)行了檢查，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)，除了土以外，仍舊一無(wú)所獲。
同樣的事情每周重演一次，一共持續(xù)了六個(gè)月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，干脆辭職去當(dāng)了酒吧侍者。有天夜里，那個(gè)形跡可疑的人碰巧途經(jīng)酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對(duì)他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個(gè)忙，今晚的酒就歸我請(qǐng)客。你能不能告訴我，那段時(shí)間你到底在走私什么東西?”
那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。”
4、Skunk
"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"
"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."
Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.
"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"
臭 鼬
“我們的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打電話的人對(duì)警察調(diào)度員尖叫道。“我們?cè)鯓硬拍馨阉鰜?”
“弄一些面包屑，”調(diào)度員說，“從地下室往外鋪一條小道直到后院。然后將地下室的門打開。”
一段時(shí)間后，那位居民又將電話打了回來。“你們將它弄出來了嗎?”調(diào)度員問。
“沒有，”打電話的人答道，“現(xiàn)在那兒有兩只臭鼬了。”
5、hings Have Been Okay
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."
"You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?"
"Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."
一切都正常
一對(duì)年輕夫婦有個(gè)兒子，已經(jīng)四歲了，還沒有開品說話，他們對(duì)此深感焦慮。他們帶他去找專家診治，但醫(yī)生們總覺得他沒有毛病。后來有一天早上吃早餐時(shí)，那孩子突然開口了：“媽媽，面包烤焦了。”
“你說話了!你說話了!”他母親叫了起來。“我太高興了!但為什么花了這么長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間呢?”
“哦，在這之前，”那男孩說，“一切都很正常。”
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