長(zhǎng)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑
總是有些時(shí)候莫名其妙的不開(kāi)心，心情不佳的時(shí)候就會(huì)辦什么都不在狀態(tài)，你會(huì)這樣么?這里小編收集整理了長(zhǎng)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑，讓你的心情速速好起來(lái)。
長(zhǎng)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑篇一：Don't bother me 別煩我
One day a kind man met a panicky little boy in his neighbor-hood when he was going home from his office.
He noticed that the boy seemed to have fought with other boys. He kindly said: "Why do you have a black eye, little man? I am sorry to see that?"
Unexpectedly the boy replied angrily: "Don't bother me. You go home to feel sorry for your own little boy-he has got two!"
有一天一個(gè)好心的'人下班回家時(shí)，在他居住的小區(qū)里碰到一個(gè)神色慌張的小男孩。
他注意到這個(gè)孩子像是剛和別的孩子打過(guò)架，就親切的對(duì)他說(shuō)：“小家伙，你怎么會(huì)有個(gè)黑眼眶呀?看到你這樣，我很為你難過(guò)?”
不料這個(gè)小男孩竟然氣沖沖地回答說(shuō)：“別煩我。你回家去為你自己的小男孩難過(guò)吧。他有兩個(gè)黑眼眶。”
長(zhǎng)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑篇二：
In court a judge asked the witness, “How old are you? I mean, really, how old are you? And remember, you’re under oath, so tell the truth.”
The woman replied, “I’m twenty one and some months.”
The judge said, “Be specific: how many months?”
So she said, “One hundred and eighteen months.”
庭上的法官問(wèn)證人：“您多大了?我的意思是，真實(shí)年齡是多少?別忘了剛才你已經(jīng)宣誓過(guò)，所以請(qǐng)誠(chéng)實(shí)作答。”
女士回答：“我二十一歲又幾個(gè)月。”
法官說(shuō)：“要講精確，到底是多少個(gè)月?”
她回答：“一百一十八個(gè)月!”
長(zhǎng)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑篇三：I’m the groom. 我就是新郎。
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
"But officer," the man began, "I can explain."
"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."
"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."
"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell,"I'm the groom."
在一個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)里，一個(gè)警官攔住了一個(gè)在主街道上超速行駛的騎摩托車者。
“但是，警官，”這個(gè)男人開(kāi)口說(shuō)，“聽(tīng)我解釋，”
“安靜，”警官打斷了他，“我要讓你到監(jiān)獄里做冷板凳，一直到長(zhǎng)官回來(lái)。”
“但是警官，我只是想說(shuō)…”
“我說(shuō)過(guò)了，安靜，你將要下監(jiān)獄!!”
幾個(gè)小時(shí)之后，警官看著他的犯人說(shuō)，“你足夠的幸運(yùn)，長(zhǎng)官正在參見(jiàn)他女兒的婚禮，當(dāng)他回來(lái)的時(shí)候一定心情不錯(cuò)。”
“別指望了，”監(jiān)獄里的伙計(jì)說(shuō)，“我就是新郎。”
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