英文短篇笑話故事
幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說笑話,還要懂得他人說的笑話,來測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的`指數(shù)有多高吧!
英文短篇笑話故事(一)
Hours of consultation 診療時(shí)間
It was half pass three. The doctor just lay down to have a nap when he heard a loud knock on the door. He got up and asked the man at the door: "What is it?"
"I've been bitten by a dog," said the man painfully.
"Well, don't you know that my hours of consultation are between twelve and three?" said the doctor unpleasantly.
"I know," groaned the man, "but that confounded(困惑的) dog didn't know, It bit me at twenty past three."
下午三點(diǎn)半鐘時(shí),醫(yī)生剛剛躺下想小睡一會(huì)兒,就聽到有人大聲敲門。他起身問門口的人:“什么事呀?”
門口那個(gè)人痛苦地說:“我被狗咬了。”
醫(yī)生很不高興地說:“哦,你不知道我診病的時(shí)間是12點(diǎn)到3點(diǎn)嗎?”
那個(gè)人呻吟著說:“我知道,可是那只該死的狗不知道。它在3點(diǎn)20分咬了我。”
英文短篇笑話故事(二)
I'll Change My Name 我會(huì)改一個(gè)名字
At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father wasappalled(驚駭?shù)?, "A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace!" he wailed. "What if the neighbors find out?"
"I'll change my name," the comic-to-be volunteered. "
"Change your name!" His father screamed. "What if you're a success? How will the neighbors know it's my son?"
埃迪十六歲了,他決定離開家去參加一個(gè)劇團(tuán)。他的爸爸氣壞了。 “讓我的兒子上舞臺(tái)演戲?真丟臉!”他大叫道,“鄰居們知道了怎么想?”
“我會(huì)改一個(gè)名字。”這位未來的滑稽演員主動(dòng)提出。
“改名字!”他爸爸喊叫著,“那如果你出了名怎么辦?怎么讓鄰居們知道你就是我的兒子呢?”
英文短篇笑話故事(三)
My God 我的上帝啊
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.
Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up:"You've been on for five miles -- that'll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase."
The Scotsman responds:"I haven't, I want to have a penny fare, just got on this very moment." They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "My God!Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket—but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny."
一個(gè)蘇格蘭人提著一只大箱子,坐上了一輛開往倫敦的汽車。上車后,在汽車行駛了5英里的這段路上,他一直在試圖躲開售票員。
售票員最終還是找到了他,并叫他補(bǔ)票:“你已經(jīng)坐了5英里了,請(qǐng)付50便士,你的箱子還要付10便士。”
蘇格蘭人答道:“我是不會(huì)付那么多錢的。我只付1便士,因?yàn)槲覄倓偵宪嚒?rdquo;最后,他們爭吵起來。售票員越吵越生氣,終于在車子行駛到倫敦大橋上時(shí),抓起蘇格蘭人的箱子,用力扔出了車外。
箱子掉進(jìn)河里,沉了下去。蘇格蘭人驚呆了,怔怔地站在那里,片刻之后對(duì)售票員說:“我的上帝啊!你不僅向我多收票錢,現(xiàn)在還淹死了我的兒子強(qiáng)尼。”
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