三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑
幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說(shuō)笑話，還要懂得他人說(shuō)的笑話，來(lái)測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!
三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑一：籃球教練的心理學(xué)測(cè)試
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oraltest.
一位剛剛做完一場(chǎng)有關(guān)心理健康講座的心理學(xué)指導(dǎo)老師，正在進(jìn)行一個(gè)口頭測(cè)試。
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patientwho walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chairweeping uncontrollably the next?"
測(cè)試主題定為躁狂抑郁癥，她問(wèn)道：“你將怎樣診斷這樣的一個(gè)病人，他先是來(lái)回走著并大聲叫喊了一分鐘，然后坐在一張椅子上失控般地哭泣。”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
一個(gè)坐在后面的年輕人舉手答道：“他是一個(gè)籃球教練?”
三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑二：愛(ài)爾蘭人的運(yùn)氣
Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.
一對(duì)愛(ài)爾蘭情侶坐在公園里的長(zhǎng)椅上。他們手牽著手，但是那個(gè)女的一直緊張地?cái)[弄她的雙手。
Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”
瑪麗:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告訴你。”
Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”
帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你盡管可以跟我說(shuō)。”
Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”
瑪麗:“這件事簡(jiǎn)直太難講出口了。”
Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”
帕克瑞克:“請(qǐng)你相信我，到底是什么事?”
Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”
瑪麗:“那是好幾年前的事了。我爸爸失業(yè)了，當(dāng)時(shí)沒(méi)有錢(qián)。”
Patrick: “So, what is it?”
帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”
Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”
瑪麗:“哦，當(dāng)時(shí)我們簡(jiǎn)直是絕望之極。所以有時(shí)候我不得不去做妓女!”
Patrick: “WHAT!”
帕特瑞克:“你說(shuō)什么?”
Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”
瑪麗:“我們太需要錢(qián)了。”
Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”
帕特瑞克:“不要找借口開(kāi)脫了。出賣你的靈魂，你怎么能這么做呢? 你! 瑪麗，這我實(shí)在是接受不了。”
Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”
瑪麗:“不，帕特請(qǐng)不要這樣，我覺(jué)得你能理解我。我相信你依然愛(ài)我，哪怕我曾經(jīng)出賣過(guò)自己的身體。”
Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”
帕特瑞克:“哦，你等會(huì)兒，那沒(méi)關(guān)系。剛才我還以為你是說(shuō)你是當(dāng)了新教徒呢。”
三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑三：又一個(gè)引擎出了故障
A Boeing 747 was flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain got on the loud speaker:" Travellers, one of our engines was out of order , therefore we’ll arrive in Tokyo an hour late ."
一架波音747飛行在太平洋的夜空，喇叭里傳來(lái)機(jī)長(zhǎng)的聲音：“旅客們，我們的一個(gè)引擎壞了，因此我們將晚到達(dá)東京一個(gè)小時(shí)。”
After a short while, the trumpet rang out again:" Everybody, the second one of our four engines went wrong, we will reach Tokyo late three hours as a result." At this time, the passengers started disturbance.
過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，喇叭再次響起：“諸位，我們四個(gè)引擎中又壞了一個(gè)引擎，為此我們將晚到三個(gè)小時(shí)。”這時(shí)，乘客開(kāi)始騷動(dòng)。
Someone said:" In case another engine is down again , we’ll be up here all night." Moreover, a chap got to shouting unendurably:" I do not choose to take your awful airplane any longer, let me get off quickly."
有人說(shuō)：“萬(wàn)一再壞一個(gè)，我們得呆在天上一整夜了。”還有已經(jīng)受不了的，大叫：“我再也不坐你們的'破飛機(jī)了，快讓我下去。”
三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話大全爆笑四：Problem with gas放屁的問(wèn)題
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看醫(yī)生：“醫(yī)生，我有愛(ài)放屁的毛病。其實(shí)也不是大問(wèn)題，只是我放屁不臭而且沒(méi)聲音。事實(shí)上，我在這里已經(jīng)放了20多個(gè)屁，但是你并不知道對(duì)吧，因?yàn)槲业钠ú怀�，而且還沒(méi)聲音。”醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“好的，我明白了。吃這個(gè)藥片，一天三次連續(xù)吃七天，下星期你再來(lái)。”一星期后老太太來(lái)了，“醫(yī)生，你到底給的我什么藥，現(xiàn)在我放屁還是沒(méi)聲音，但是怎么這么臭!”醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“太好了!你的嗅覺(jué)正常了，現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始治聽(tīng)覺(jué)。”
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