讓人開(kāi)懷一笑的4個(gè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

時(shí)間：2020-09-17 19:34:00 英語(yǔ)笑話(huà) 我要投稿

　　代課教師

讓人開(kāi)懷一笑的4個(gè)英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)

　　A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

　　代課教師試圖運(yùn)用她的心理學(xué)知識(shí)。開(kāi)始上課時(shí)，她說(shuō)：“誰(shuí)覺(jué)得自己很愚蠢，請(qǐng)站起來(lái)。”小約翰馬上站起來(lái)了。老師問(wèn)：“為什么你覺(jué)得你很愚蠢呢，小約翰?”“我不覺(jué)得我很蠢，只是我不愿意你一個(gè)人站在那!”

　　別著急

　　As students in the college of veterinary medicine at Texas A & M University, we frequently treated the farm animals at the state prison. While awkwardly performing a medical procedure on an unruly horse, a classmate said to the prisoner who was holding the animal, "Sorry I'm taking so long." "No problem," the prisoner replied, "I'm doing seven years.

　　我在德克薩斯A&M大學(xué)獸醫(yī)藥學(xué)系學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)候，同學(xué)們經(jīng)常把動(dòng)物帶到州監(jiān)獄里去治療。有一次我們笨手笨腳的給一匹烈馬做完檢查，我同學(xué)對(duì)一直按著這匹馬的犯人說(shuō)：“真是不好意思，我用了這么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間。”“沒(méi)關(guān)系，”他回答說(shuō)，“我已經(jīng)作了七年這種事了。”

　　請(qǐng)假了

　　My personnel-management class consisted mainly of adult, working students. One night while discussing job enrichment, the teacher asked if any of us would be happy doing what we did that day for the rest of our lives. A student in the back raised his hand. Surprised, the teacher asked him, "What did you do today?" Smiling, he said, "I took off from work."

　　我曾參加過(guò)一個(gè)員工管理培訓(xùn)課程，我們班上基本上都是成年人和一些半工半讀的學(xué)生。一天晚上我們?cè)谡n上討論工作豐富化的'問(wèn)題。我們的老師問(wèn)我們當(dāng)中有沒(méi)有人愿意一輩子做今天所做的事情。坐在教室最后面的一個(gè)學(xué)生舉起了手。老師覺(jué)得很驚奇，于是問(wèn)那個(gè)學(xué)生，“你今天做什么來(lái)著?”，學(xué)生笑著回答，“我今天請(qǐng)假了”。

　　誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空

　　I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me that I had left the light on in the shed. She could see from the bedroom window. As I looked for myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in this area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. I said ok, hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an armed response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" I replied with "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

　　那天晚上，我剛要上床睡覺(jué)，妻子告訴我說(shuō)我沒(méi)有關(guān)儲(chǔ)藏室的燈，她從臥室的窗戶(hù)看見(jiàn)那還亮著。我也透過(guò)窗戶(hù)朝那邊看，發(fā)現(xiàn)有幾個(gè)人正在偷東西。我趕忙報(bào)警，但是警察局說(shuō)現(xiàn)在沒(méi)有警察在我家的這片位置，他們一有了人手就馬上派過(guò)來(lái)。我說(shuō)沒(méi)問(wèn)題，然后掛了電話(huà)，等了一分鐘，又給他們打過(guò)去：“警察局嗎，一分鐘以前我打過(guò)電話(huà)來(lái)，我告訴你說(shuō)有人正在我家的儲(chǔ)藏室偷東西。但是現(xiàn)在沒(méi)事了，因?yàn)槲覄倓傞_(kāi)槍把他們都打死了。”隨后，五分鐘之內(nèi)有六輛警車(chē)來(lái)到了我家，警報(bào)也響了。當(dāng)然，他們當(dāng)場(chǎng)抓住了竊賊。有個(gè)警察對(duì)我說(shuō)：“我記得你說(shuō)你把他們都打死了。”我回答道：“我記得你說(shuō)現(xiàn)在誰(shuí)都沒(méi)空。”

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