英語笑話笑破肚子
笑話是幽默的載體,一個(gè)成功的笑話能流傳千古,聽者和講者都會(huì)感到快樂、欣喜,拍掌叫好!今天我們就一起來看看英語笑話笑破肚子吧!
英語笑話笑破肚子(一)
Once there was a scholar who was very poor,but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening,a thief broke into the scholar’s house,but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said,"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this,the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head,and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him,"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face,eh?”
從前有個(gè)讀書人家里很窮,卻很愛面子。一天晚上,小偷到他家來行竊,卻沒有東西值得一偷,就說:“晦氣,我算碰到真正的窮鬼了!”讀書人聽見了,就從床頭摸出僅有的.幾文錢,追上去攔住小偷,輕輕地說:“你來得真不巧。請(qǐng)將就些把這些錢拿去。不過在人家面前,你可千萬不要隨便說,給我留點(diǎn)面子啊。”
英語笑話笑破肚子(二)
In 2005 Japan made a new robot. It can take care of a child. The new robot is called iPapero. It weighs 13.2 pounds, and has a body of 15.2 by 10.3 and by 9.8 inches.
2005年,日本制造了一個(gè)新的機(jī)器人。它會(huì)照看小孩。這個(gè)新機(jī)器人叫做iPapero。它13.2磅重,身體是15.2×10.3×9.8英寸。
iPapero is a small robot, but it has many special skills. It can recognize and remember up to ten faces and use its eight separate electronic ears to understand human voices even in noisy situations. It also plays games with children when they are unhappy, or sing songs or ask quizzes to entertain the child. If the child is bored, iPapero will change new songs and quizzes so that it doesn't repeat itself. The robot babysitter even has a cell phone to call a parent when the child asks for his mother.
iPapero是個(gè)小機(jī)器人,但它有很多特殊的技能。它能識(shí)別和記憶多達(dá)十張臉,即使是在吵鬧的情況下,它也能用它八只分開的電子耳朵聽懂人的聲音。當(dāng)孩子們不高興時(shí),它還和他們玩游戲、唱歌或猜謎語讓他們開心。如果孩子感到無聊了,他會(huì)換新的歌和謎語,這樣就不會(huì)重復(fù)。這個(gè)照看小孩的機(jī)器人甚至還裝有移動(dòng)電話,當(dāng)孩子找媽媽時(shí),可以用它打電話給父母。
英語笑話笑破肚子(三)
A woman was dissatisfied with her next-door neighbor. She told her friend that the neighbor was a poor housekeeper, her house was not clean and her children were dirty. Then she complained that one was almost disgraced by living near such a neighbor.
"Just look," she said, "at those clothes and those sheets and pillow cases she has hung outside all with black streaks up and down."
Her friend stepped to the window, raised it and looked out. Then he said: "It seems the clothes are very clean. The streaks that you see are on your own window."
有個(gè)女人對(duì)他的隔壁鄰居很不滿意,跟她的朋友說這個(gè)鄰居不是個(gè)好主婦,說她家里不干凈,孩子們都臟。還抱怨說和這樣的鄰居住得這么近幾乎是很不體面的。
她說:“你就看看吧,她掛在外面的那些衣服以及那些床單和枕頭套,上上下下都有一些黑斑紋。”
她的朋友走到窗前去,推開窗子看了看外面,然后說:“那些衣服看來非常干凈。你看到的那些斑紋都是你自己窗子上的。”
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