初中幽默英語笑話

　　總是有些時候莫名其妙的不開心，心情不佳的時候就會辦什么都不在狀態(tài)，你會這樣么?這里小編收集整理了初中幽默英語笑話，讓你的心情速速好起來。

　　初中幽默英語笑話(一)

　　A Lesson in Philosophy

　　哲學(xué)課一則

　　Why worry?

　　何必憂慮呢?

　　Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.

　　真的，你只有兩件事要擔(dān)心，你不是會生病就是身體健康。

　　If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果你身體健康，那么就沒什么好擔(dān)心的。

　　and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.

　　如果生病的話，只要擔(dān)憂兩件事，你不是康復(fù)就是死亡。

　　If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果你康復(fù)的話，什么也不必?fù)?dān)心。

　　and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.

　　如果不幸死亡的話，你只要擔(dān)心兩件事，你不是上天堂就是下地獄。

　　If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,

　　如果上天堂，什么也不需要你擔(dān)憂。

　　and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !

　　要是下地獄的話，你會忙著和老朋友握手寒暄，連擔(dān)憂事情的時間都沒有!

　　初中幽默英語笑話(二)

　　The airplane was obviously in trouble. One engine was on fire, another was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height.

　　飛機顯然出了問題，一個引擎著火，另一個嘎嘎作響，不可避免地，飛機緩慢地失去高度。

　　Finally the grim-looking captain entered the cabin.

　　最后，面色凝重的機長走進客艙。

　　"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced, "we've lost most of our power. The only way to keep the plane aloft is to lighten our load. We've already dumped the baggage, but it's not enough. I-m asking for volunteers to make the supreme sacrifice so that others may live, "

　　“各位女士，各位先生，”他宣布道，“我們已失去了大部分的動力，要保持飛機高度的唯一方法就是減輕我們的載重。雖然我們已經(jīng)把行李丟掉，但還是不夠，我要求幾位自告奮勇犧牲生命以保全其他人的性命。”

　　After a few minutes of stunned silence, a Frenchman stood to quivering attention, shouted "Vive la France!" and threw himself out the door.

　　一陣目瞪口呆的沉寂之后，一位法國人顫抖著站起來喊道：“法國萬歲!”然后跳出機門。

　　Shortly thereafter, an Englishman rose to his full height,coolly declared, "God Save the Queen!" and followed thegallant Frenchman.

　　之后一會兒，一位英國人站了出來，他冷靜地說：“上帝保佑女王!”接著和那位勇敢的'法國人一樣跳出門外。

　　Finally, a Texan rose from his seat, cried, "Remember the Alamo! " and threw out the Mexican sitting next to him.

　　最后，一位德州佬從座位站起來，叫道：“毋忘阿拉摩!”說著便把隔鄰的墨西哥乘客扔出窗外。

　　初中幽默英語笑話(三)

　　A Remarkable Talent

　　一位了不起的天才

　　"Did you know I could tell time by the piano?" asked one friend of another.

　　“你相信我可以由鋼琴知道現(xiàn)在幾點鐘嗎?’一位老兄向他的朋友問道。

　　"You're kidding," replied his companion dubiously.

　　“別開玩笑了!”他的朋友懷疑地回答。

　　"I'll show you," said the first man as he sat down at the piano and started to hammer out a martial tune.

　　“那我試給你看，”說著那位老兄就坐在鋼琴前開始彈起一首進行曲。

　　Within seconds came a pounding on the wall, and an angry voice shouting,

　　幾秒鐘后墻壁傳來捶打聲，一個憤怒的聲音叫道：

　　"Hey, you son of a bitch, don’t you realize it,s three o’clock in the morning?"

　　“嘿!你他媽的，你知不知道現(xiàn)在是凌晨三點鐘?”

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